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39 Days Remain - Mike Riley

Today only 39 day remain until race day. Today was a pretty easy workout day. I swam for an hour and ran for one and half hours.

On my run I had time to let my mind wander and daydream a bit. I began thinking about Ironman's Mike Riley. Mike Riley is the announcer for most of the Ironman 140.6 Races. As racers cross the finish line Mike Riley bellows the racer's name and declares, "you are an Ironman". For about four years now I have imagined Mike Riley announcing to the world "Rob Schopke, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN". Kind of corny I know. But it is one of those mental images that you render to help keep you motivated. It is one of those mental images that you can draw upon during those countless hours of training. An image that gets you carried away in your own thoughts and inspires you to train harder.

Only 39 more days until I hear, "Rob Schopke, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!"

40 Days Remain - Why do I race anyway?

There is only 40 day remaining until I race in Ironman Florida. After tens of thousands of miles of training, I estimate more than 40,000 miles of training; after millions of strides, pedal and swim strokes I have found myself feeling burned out, tired and sore. But recently I have found myself wondering why this is so important. I would like to share with you a few experiences I had today that led to re-discovering or re-obtaining my inner clarity.

I started my day by going to my massage therapist. I have a reoccurring problem with knots forming in my shins and calves. Additionally my therapist feels that my mussels may be fusing to my shinbone. He spent one hour and fifteen minutes today stripping my calves and shins. This is not the first time he has done this. I spent the hour and fifteen minutes screaming in agony. The pain from this procedure is intense. What does this have to do with why I race? Hang tight and it will all come together.

After a full day of work, I headed home to finish my daily workouts. On the way I called a friend of mine. I ended up having a conversation with two friends of mine, due to them being together at the moment. One friend told me that he wanted me to race Ironman Buffalo Spring 70.3 next year because he wanted to kick my "arse". Now let me go no further before I clarify that this was banter between friends. But it got me thinking; he works hard to beat his friends; why is it so important to him beat all his friends? In no way am I passing judgment. However, I found myself wondering, why it was not so all-important to me.

At about 7:30pm I still had not gotten my very easy one-hour run in today. Putting in so much time and having such a LONG season I found myself talking to my coach. I was telling my coach how I am floundering a bit. How I am feeling a bit burnt out and I am lacking the enthusiasm to charge out the door for my run. We agreed that my feeling being burnt out DID NOT MATTER, what mattered is getting the workout done. So I laced on my shoes, got my dog fitted with a red blinking light (because it was already dark outside), and we set out for my run.

The first couple steps hurt the most! The pain coming from my calves and shins (and no these are not shin splints) feel like my legs are broken. Each step hurts. But after my legs get warmed up, which usually takes about 45 minutes to an hour, the knots seem to relax and the pain subsides. But given that this workout was set to be only an hour long I knew that this would be a run completed in pain. To deal with the pain I turn my attention to some problem that needs working out. I went back to thinking about why winning is so important to my friend.

So as I was running I was thinking back to where this all started for me. It was a dark time, a time when I prayed nightly for God to end my life. This was a time when dying was more appealing than living. A time when, at times, being awake was so unbearable that I would take enough pills to put me out; only to awake and go running for more pills to end to suffering for another day. A time when I lost the ability to read, to add and subtract, and even to reason on a higher level. It was a dark time when I virtually lost my life. I lost the very person who I was.

Happiness, hope, joy, love, peace, or even any sense safety and security were gone! My wife virtually lived my life for me. My wife fed me, clothed me, read for me, thought for me, and even told me how to feel. I would be in a panic and run to my wife to ask her if there was reason to panic. She would explain that there was nothing to panic about, only to ask her five minutes later to tell me again how there was nothing to panic about.

I realize that this entire experience changed my life for the better. I am stronger today. Having to work at rebuilding the life that I lost has helped me better discover the person that I am. It has helped me discover what is important in my life and for that matter what is UN-INPORTANT in my life.

I race today because once, I was better off dead. I race today because it is self-exploration. Racing for me is about winning, but more importantly it is about further discovering who I am, what I can accomplish, and how many people I can help lift up along the way. So all the miles, all the hours, all the pain is absolutely worth it!

I race today because once, I was better off dead, but now my life is worth living.

Triathlon's Future!

I am so very proud of my daughter. She is taking an interest in Triathlon. She has been running and road biking with me. She can ride about 15 miles at an average speed of about 14 mph. We are working out a training routine and currently looking into signing her up for a swim team. My daughter is 8 years old and I hope that come next season she will compete in her first triathlon. But first she has to be the one who makes that decision. Baby steps here.

Triathlon is really good for children. It teaching them about physical fitness. They learn about discipline and goal setting. Triathlon teaches them about good sportsmanship and how to be competitive in nature. The sport is also a great outlet for social and emotional stresses that youngsters are constantly under. Overall the sport adds to a child's self-esteem and sense of personal pride. Our children is triathlon's future.

Juno, Alaska

The Schopke's recently had a new addition to our family. Juno Schopke is an Alaskan Malamute. She was recently rescued by an organization that Marin, Racer's wife, works with. Juno was about to be euthanized by the Utah County Animal Services. Her window of opportunity to be adopted had expired and the Utah County Animal Services contacted the malamute rescue to see if they wanted to rescue her. After they rescued her, she was brought to Racer's to await adoption.

Juno was showing signs of stress and depression. She would cower in fear. She ran from everybody who approached her. Juno spent most of her time in the yard behind Racer's shop, as if to avoid human contact. Her tail was always down and her head constantly hung at ground level. I spend a fair amount of time at Racer's, visiting with friends and acquaintances, and Juno began to warm up to me. One day Racer and Marin asked me to take Juno home. My wife was hesitant, but understanding Juno's plight, Lora agreed to take Juno in.

Since Juno has been with our family her fear of people is all but gone. She holds her head up high and her tail constantly is raised high upon her back. Her disposition is completely different. She seems very happy and is just about the warmest most loyal dog around. She loves children and has four other dogs to play with. Juno has already become an important addition to our family.

Salt Lake City Marathon '06 {RESULTS 04:09:07}

The Salt Lake City Marathon was a wonderful experience for me. When I got to the event start, I immediately got in line to use the porta-potty. I was in line for about 45 minutes and was worried that I would not make the event start. After about 45 minutes, it was my turn. I finished my business and made it to the starting line with about a minute to spare. They never put enough porta-potties at these events.

I made it to the starting line and powered up my Thumps. I made a mistake with the song selection because by about mile 18, I was sick and tried of the music on my Thump. I would have loved faster, more up-tempo tunes for the second half of the race. However, I powered off my thumps and ran with my thoughts.

I felt great at mile 18. Shortly after mile 18, I hit a wall. It was a big wall. My stomach was bloating and I had to belch continually to keep from vomiting. This lasted about three or four miles. At about mile 20, I stopped running for a brief moment to walk and cool off a bit. A police officer who was wearing a yellow running jersey ran up to me and said "So, you're finished?" This got me so mad. My response to him was "That's not funny!" I started running, left him behind and never saw him again.

You just don't come up to someone who has just run 20 miles non-stop and say sarcastically, "So, you're finished?" At this point, you should be giving athletes as much encouragement as possible. Of course, I understand that I could have taken this guy's comment too seriously, but who could blame me. I was fatigued and suffering "JUST A BIT".

Amazingly, at mile 22 I got a second wind. I felt great again. I felt as if I was just beginning. My pace increased and I found my rhythm again. This is an amazing feeling.

I said to my coach "There it is".
He asked me "There what is?"
I responded "Peace!"
Enough said.

This peace did not last long and by about mile 24.5, I was once again hitting a wall. This is where I learned the most from this experience. The first wall you are suffering. But, this suffering is manageable because you know you can push through the pain and fatigue. But when you recover, and are feeling great, and then have everything taken from you a second time, this is demoralizing and rips every last bit of optimism from you. This second wall is real suffering.

There were times, between mile 24.5 and 26.2, that I truly felt I would not make it! The hope, optimism, and determination was weak. This is when I learned what resolute fortitude meant. I had to find myself amidst the mental noise and separate my thoughts from the noise of suffering. At mile 26 we made a right turn into The Gateway. That 0.2 mile run to the finish line was the LONGEST run I have ever ran.

I saw my family standing there waiting for me off to the left. But, I did not have enough energy to call out to them. I assumed they saw me but as it turned out they missed me as I ran past. I ran past the finish line and I was exhausted. I was followed a bit by a medic to ensure that I was ok. I was directed back to a "finishers" area where I was given my finishers bag and food and drink. Shortly thereafter, Hannah came running up, being the first of my family to find me. A minute or two later, Lora and Robyn came up and we regrouped.

This was a great experience, and the main lesson I came away with is how to continue in the midst of physical suffering.

Buffalo's Roam in Lubbock Texas

It is 5:14 a.m.; the night is black. A distant storm approaching, throwing lightning bolts to the earth, threatens the 6:30a.m start. Overhead, the stars are shining and the wind is blowing in from the Northeast. A constant flow of athletes are cautiously walking their bikes and gear down a steep and winding hill to the distant light of the transition area.

From atop the hill is the pounding voice of the announcer calling out the current time and providing athletes with final instructions. Fourteen hundred athletes are quiet with their own thoughts of the day ahead. I am having my own inner conversation. Discussing my objectives in the race with the Almighty and quietly asking God to race with me today. God and I set reasonable goals, and I felt God’s presence, His affirmation and consecration of the plans we made together. Quiet came to my soul and filled the air around me.

I approached transition and the bellowing percussion of the announcer, the hollering from the body markers, and the chatter from participants interrupts all tranquility and inner reflection; suddenly your attention is shifted to the race at hand. The calm that was is exchanged with the rush to get your body marked, find you transition location, set up your gear to allow for the quickest transition times possible, and get yourself to the race start before the gun fires.

It is June 25^th and I am ready to race the

2006 Ironman 70.3 Buffalo Springs Lake Triathlon!

I stood on the beach of Buffalo Springs Lake and a bit of anxiety set in. More panic producing anxiety than just the pre-race jitters. I decided to get into the water and see how I felt. I waded into the water, about waist deep, and then dove in. A few strokes later and I stopped. I could feel the warm water flowing into my wetsuit and I realized, yet again, that the fear needed to be disposed. Asking for help, I continued my conversation with God to dispel the fear. I swam some more and felt so relaxed! It was peace amidst a hum of excitement.

The third wave started and I knew it was time to exit the water and prepare for the beach start of my wave. I had spoke in depth to my coach about approaching this start differently. The gun went off and instead of rushing into the water in a mad dash, I paced my approach. Keeping each stroke deliberate, powerful, and purposeful, I completed the first 300 meters. In the past, I have allowed myself to become too caught up in rushing out of the start that my stroke resembles more of a flailing motion. This flailing about causes my stroke to become inefficient, thus requiring my stroke cadence to increase. The increased cadence requires added breath, making breath control impossible. I end up having to stop about 300 Meters into the swim, unable to regain a full breath. The approach my coach and I worked out alleviated this problem entirely.

My swim went well. I feel like my swim was long. I know that I could have swum faster. But in this particular leg of the race, I was more concerned with having an overall good swim. I accomplished this. I was able to cut my swim time by 0:3:53 over my Oceanside time.

Buffalo Springs Lake is a great swim venue. It is a spring-fed lake. The lake sits down low in a shallow canyon. This canyon eliminates a lot of the wind, helping to make the water calm.

I knew that I wanted to approach the bike harder than I had in the past. I accomplished this. I cut my bike split by 0:10:38. This was accomplished mainly by trying to my make my pedal stroke more efficient. It resulted in using my quads more and saving my hamstrings and glutes for the run. I had no computer on the bike, and therefore I had to gauge my speed based on my perceived exertion. Understanding my body as it fatigues, I was able to maintain a very level and paced intensity to improve this time.

After about mile 38 to 40, it became a matter of mental discipline to keep the intensity at the same level as the start of the bike. The bike course at Buffalo Springs required me to control my thoughts. It seemed like every road was uphill in both directions. The course was a modified “out and back”. So going out on the course seemed like you were riding a false flat. A false flat is where the road is not quite level but slightly uphill. At the turn-arounds, you expect to be going slightly downhill. But the road, once again, appeared to be another false flat. This happens on some roads and it is clearly an optical illusion. The difficulty is when you let negativity about the course, or anything for that matter, into your thought process, the race becomes exponentially more labored. Your thoughts then become your main competitor and you lose to your own thoughts. It is amazing how much harder racing is when you allow yourself to think about negativity. Your body can be SCREAMING OUT in pain, but you really have to block the negative thoughts about suffering and press on. This is one of the victories in Ironman Racing.

In Oceanside, I had one huge advantage over Buffalo Springs. I was at sea level in Oceanside and Buffalo Springs is only about 900 feet lower than in Utah, where I normally train. Though the terrain of the bike course was more challenging in Oceanside, my body was better able to cope with and recover faster due to the added oxygen intake at sea level. In Oceanside, the high temperature for the day was 57.9 degrees with virtually no wind. However in Buffalo Springs, the high was 84 degrees with a relative humidity of 61.2% and 13 mph headwind in every direction! Given these differences, I feel like the bike course at Buffalo Springs was a bit more difficult than Oceanside. In any rate, I improved my bike split by over 10 minutes.

The run is where I wanted to improve the most at Buffalo Springs. Though the split time makes it appear like I didn't improve very much, I know I made a large improvement over Oceanside. I cut my run split by 0:2:28. Oceanside’s run course was flat. It followed the beach and therefore, there was virtually no climbing. Buffalo Spring’s run course had three good hills to climb. I was trying to gauge my run pace based on perceived exertion. But, due to the addition of three hills, I missed the goal that I had set for myself. I wanted to maintain at least a 0:9:00 mile. I ended up running the 13.1 miles at a pace of a 0:9:40 mile.

A few days before the race, I felt a little ill. I felt like I was getting a cold. I increased the dose of Xing I was taking to help my body fight off the cold. Within a couple days, I felt fine again. Xing is a dietary supplement that I have been taking. It has Green Plumb extract, an herbal blend, and a full array of vitamins and minerals. I feel like I was able to race in part to Xing.

I am happy with my performance at Ironman 70.3 Buffalo Springs Lake Triathlon. I improved my time at Buffalo Springs by 0:22:24. Next up, VINEMAN!

Thurston, Badmann, Fuhr, and Bell

Today was a wonderful day. I think that I am going to like the venue here in Lubbock, Texas. The swim course is a large square-type shape. I entered the water at Buffalo Springs Lake and felt like I was in a bath tub. The water was so warm that a wetsuit is not necessary. In fact, the water is almost too warm for a wetsuit. My swim today felt very relaxed and smooth.

We biked the run course today. The run course is hilly which is not to my advantage but I feel pretty good about the overall race. My run has felt good and relaxed lately and I am happy with how my legs have been feeling. I have not seen the entire bike course as of yet but will be previewing the course tomorrow.

The winds have been sustained and the temperature has been in the 90’s. Not too bad for Texas. I think that hydration will be extra important during this race. I noticed that I was sweating more than normal on my short ride today. I will my making full use of my NeverReach and CarboPro.

I have been on a workout taper and I cannot wait for race day. You train and train two to three hours a day, four to five hours on long days. When the training slows, your body yearns to be pushed and worked hard. I am experiencing this now. I feel my body wanting to run 15 miles just to tire it out. I am looking forward to this race.

My day’s highlight came at a mixer for Pro Triathletes. My coach, Heath Thurston, was invited and I was able to attend as a guest. While at the mixer, I was able to meet Natascha Badmann, Heather Fuhr, and Luke Bell. I got my picture taken with them and they signed the shirt I was wearing. Natasha Badmann was announced and I had to go meet her. She has such a good attitude when she is racing and seems to be a wonderful woman. It was a pleasure to meet her.

Buffalo Springs Prep.

I am in Lubbock, Texas in preparation for the Ironman Buffalo Springs 70.3 Triathlon. This will be my second half iron distance race this season. I learned some valuable lessons in Ironman Oceanside 70.3. I am hoping to capitalize on the added experience.

Lubbock has been hot and humid with severe thunderstorms. Yesterday, I was out running with my coach to keep my legs loose and a thunderstorm came up from behind. The thunderstorm was being pushed by strong winds. The wind was carrying a massive dust storm and the dust was pelting our skin like rocks. When we made it back to the house in Lubbock, the dust mixed in sweat had us caked in mud. This was a fun run. I must say, I have never come back from a run muddy before.

Lubbock is a very clean city. It is a small city, but I certainly appreciate small cities. A gentleman by the name of Chuck was kind enough to provide us with a home to stay in. This saved me about $200 on hotel expenses. I am greatly appreciative of this. The added travel to get to the longer races is getting expensive. Chuck is also providing home stay for a professional triathlete, Ryan Milton, from Australia. Ryan is on a US tour. You can checkout his website at www.ryanmilton.net.

Today, we will be going for a swim in Buffalo Springs. We will also be setting out for a short ride. I would like to check out the course a bit and get a feel for what lies ahead.

Race Schedule & Results

2006 Races Calendar & Results
Ironman Oceanside CA 70.3 ● ½IM ● Mar 18
FINAL RESULT 5:55:51 ● 0:39:34|2:56:23|2:09:17 ● 198|367
St. George Triathlon ● Oly ● May 13 ● May 13
FINAL RESULT 2:44:53 ● 0:27:45|1:12:56|0:58:48 ● 19|52
Salem Spring Triathlon ● Spnt ● May 27
FINAL RESULT 1:20:08 ● 0:17:38|0:34:12|0:24:16 ● 76|582
Salt Lake City Marathon ● Jun 3
FINAL RESULT 4:09:07 ● 590|1946
Buffalo Spring Ironman CA 70.3 ● ½IM ● Jun 25 ● REGISTERED
Vineman Ironman CA 70.3 ● ½IM ● Jul 30 ● REGISTERED
Jordanelle Triathlon ● Oly ● Aug 28 ● REGISTERED
Ogden/Huntsville Triathlon ● Oly ● Sep 16
Las Vegas Triathlon ● ½IM ● Sep 24
Nautica Malibu Triathlon ● Spnt ● Sep
Ironman Flordia ● IM ● Nov 6 ● REGISTERED
IM=Ironman, ½IM=Half Ironman, Oly= Olymppic, Spnt=Sprint
RESULTS: Total Time ● Swim|Bike|Run(Splits) ● 00|00(Placement)

2005 Races Results
Saratoga Splash Triathlon ● Spnt ● Mar 18
FINAL RESULT 1:13:47 ● 9|21
Utah Summer Games Triathlon ● Oly● Jun 18
FINAL RESULT 3:19:54 ● 0:38:43|1:18:32|1:20:00 ● 83|96
Jordanelle Triathlon ● Oly ● Aug 28
FINAL RESULT 2:59:43 ● 0:34:22|1:21:29|0:56:33 ● 127|220
Las Vegas Triathlon ● ½IM ● Sep 24
FINAL RESULT 6:34:05 ● 0:42:56|3:05:55|2:38:35 ● 58|82
IM=Ironman, ½IM=Half Ironman, Oly= Olymppic, Spnt=Sprint,
RESULTS: Total Time ● Swim|Bike|Run(Splits) ● 00|00(Placement)

2007 Races Calendar
Walt Disney World ● Marathon ● January 2007
St. George Triathlon ● Oly ● May 2007
Ironman Coeur d'Alene ● IM ● June 2007
Nautica Malibu Triathlon ● Sprint ● September

Salt Lake City Marathon Tomorrow

Tomorrow I will embark on the Salt Lake City Marathon. I am very excited. I tried twice this winter to run a marathon and was kept from participating due to illness and injuries. The prospect to running that far is both exhilarating and a bit scary. I am not anticipating a DNF (did not finish). But time will tell. I should be done with the marathon anywhere between 10:45 and 11:15 am. For information you can view the event's website find course maps and get final results. Wish me luck and may God run the race with me tomorrow.

Diet Coke.

Heath,

It has been a month, at least, since I gave up Diet Coke. Last night while sleeping, I had another dream about Diet Coke! I dremt our families were at Disneyland. You and Lora went with the kids to save seats at one of the Disney shows.

Mahogani and I were starving and grabbed a bite to eat at a restaurant. After the meal was over, I said "Wow, that Diet Coke hit the spot." It then dawned on me that I had fallen off the wagon and consumed a Diet Coke. I told Mahogani what we had just done and she had not realized it either. I then woke up.

What a powerful addiction. What is in Diet Coke that makes me want it so much? When I gave up drinking Coffee in 1990 when I joined the church, I did not have this much struggle. A month has passed, and I still crave the stuff and dream about it.

Rob Schopke
Sr. Loan Officer
Principal Lending Manager
American Lending
rob@schopke.com
801.818.1800
866-859-5900
Message sent from pocket pc phone edition.

120 Pounds and Counting

Today, my weight loss has reached 120 pounds.This is a HUGE milestone. I have been working to lose these last 10 pounds for about six months. Every time the scale drops, it bounces back up. But as of today, I have lost a total of 120 pounds.

I started at a gargantuan 310 pounds, and today I weigh 190 pounds. Lets put this into perspective, 120 pounds is a slender woman. Everyday I was carrying a woman on my back. How exhausting is that. I look into the mirror and put on my fat clothes. This has become a favorite pastime of mine, and I cannot remember being that fat! But, I know those were my clothes!

I have been working on this weight loss for around 4 years and today, I cannot imagine being that big. But I was indeed that big. My illnesses were the cause of being that fat. My illnesses did not make me gain weight. But, it was through my illnesses, suffering, misery and turmoil that eating became the great comforter. Well, what a shame! But I am coping with my challenges better having the right medications and my life and weight loss is on track.

Rob Schopke
Sr. Loan Officer
Principal Lending Manager
American Lending
rob@schopke.com
801.818.1800
866-859-5900
Message sent from pocket pc phone edition.

Waking Up

Yesterday when I woke up:

Imagine waking up in the morning and finding that the person you are is gone. You don't feel the same. You are exhausted. There is a fatigue that comes from your body's core and you feel like you could keep sleeping forever. Your mind is heavy laden and sorrows abound. A sorrow so deep and dark that you feel your soul is lost in a deep abyss of cold, clammy pain. You are not capable of even forcing a smile.

You have known that your mood has been slipping for about a week to a week and a half. But, you also know that no amount of positive thinking can stop this slide. It is an emotional response to a chemical process that is failing in your body. You face the world everyday determined to smile and be happy. But each passing day you slip further away. Being awoken one morning, yesterday morning, realizing that you are approaching the bottom.

So what do you? I got up and ran. What else is there to do? You could lay in bed and sleep. You could let the agony win and allow yourself to shrink. Or you can muster up whatever courage you have left and try to function in life. So, I strapped on my running shoes and set off on a run. While on my run, my mind quiets and a brief moment of tranquility ensues. Eight miles is just not that far. Soon, the agony and turmoil is back in full force. So, determined not to falter I shower and head off to work.

I entered work through the back door hoping to avoid detection and quietly make it into my office. As I walked into the office I was greeted by my broker who simply said with a bright smile "Rob, how are you doing?" That was enough for me to breakdown in the middle of the office. I was whisked into her office to calm down.

I have two bodily processes that fight one another. The first is clinical depression and anxiety. The second is called Hypogonadism. I have heard the jokes, but this is no joking matter. My body does not produce testosterone as it should. As a result, I have two chemical processes, that if thrown out of whack even a little, send me spiraling into depression. I am lucky because a very astute doctor identified the problem. Had this problem not been identified, I would be doomed to living out the rest of my life suffering.

Lets be clear, true depression is a biological process. True depression is a bio-chemical imbalance. Depression is not the blues or a bad day. True depression is not something that can be simply overcome by a person's will.

I am an achiever in life. This I know. I also know that with all the achievements I have made in life, I am haunted by a challenging illness that will probably continue the rest of my life. One day can be great, followed by a great abyss. To go out on two runs yesterday and to go to work took courage. Courage to not let my depression ruin my life. Courage to never quit trying. Courage to continually move forward and advance in the midst of obscurity. Most people see people with depression as weak. I see people overcoming depression as incredibly strong, stalwart, and steadfast in life's purpose.

St. George Triathlon Tomorrow

The 2006 St George Triathlon is tomorrow. I am excited about the race. At this point in Oceanside I was a nervous wreck. But now I am wising the race were today!

My family will not be able to come down to St George to watch the race. The past couple of days have been very hard on Lora. Lora has been trying to get ready to come down to St. George to join me for the race. My daughter Robyn fell down and broke her elbow at a neighbors house. Lora spent the better part of yesterday taking Robyn to the emegency room and the Orthopedic Surgeon to determine how badly the elbow was broken. Because of this injury they will be staying home this weekend.

The course is a wonderful course. The swim is awsome. Sand Hallow Resevoir is a new lake and the water is warm and clear. The bike course is a little challenging. It is a hilly course and therefore challengeing for me. The road surface is a rough gravel surface and so the course tends to be a bit slower. The run course i a great course. About half the course is up hill. The weather has been dry and hot. The conditions are perfect.

I am excited and ready to race. In Ironman Oceanside I knew Go was racing by my side. I hope I have him with me tomorrow.

Off to St. George Triathlon

The St. George Triathlon is this weekend. I am off to race. Last night, I had a crash on my bike. This is not so good prior to a race. I held onto my bike and so it came away without anything wrong with it. Luckily, I had on cold weather gear and it saved me from road rash. I fell onto my left shoulder, leaving it a little sore and tight. My quads have a few bruises on them. But all-in-all, I am in pretty good shape. I think my shoulder will be fine by race day.

I will be bringing my bike down to Racer's to have a once over after the wreck. I just want to make sure everything is perfectly adjusted. I had recently purchased a Bontrager Race X Lite Aero Wheelset with a Power Tap from Mad Dog Cycles. Those wheels are bomb proof.

About the race, it is an olympic distance course. I raced the course last year at the Utah Summer Games. I did not do well on the course. I am much better trained this year than last. I am hoping to take a lot of time off my former course personal record. I am not putting too much pressure on myself with these shorter races. I am a long-course athlete. I am focusing on Vineman and Ironman Florida. So I am going out to race hard but still have fun.

Controlling Habits and Diet Coke - A Lesson Learned

The other day, I made a mistake that taught me a good life lesson. As many of you know, I quit drinking Diet Coke about a week and a half ago. The other day I went out to eat with my family and I got medium lemonade with my meal. The restaurant handed me the cup to fill the drink myself. I decided to wait and eat my meal before filling my drink. I finished eating and was reading the daily newspaper. I then decided it was time to fill my drink. I got up and filled the drink and returned to my table. I had been concentrating on the news article I had been reading all the while. I began drinking the drink and continued reading the paper. After a few minutes, I got back up to use the restroom. When I stood, I looked into my cup and realized that, out of habit, I had filled my cup with Diet Coke and had drank about 10oz.

I was very upset with myself and felt I had let myself down. I immediately went back to the fountain, emptied the remaining Diet Coke, rinsed the cup out with water and filled the cup up with Minute Maid Light Lemonade. This was upsetting because I had worked hard to quit Diet Coke.

One thing struck my attention and it has remained with me ever since. When I filled this drink, I filled it completely out of habit. It was so habitual that it did not even take any consciousness to fill the drink. I instinctively knew what tap I "normally" used and which button to push to get the Diet Coke. It was automatic. It was like a combination of muscle memory and spacial acuity in auto pilot. I began to wonder how many habits I have that run my day. There must be hundreds of habits that run each and every day. If I changed these habits, could I become a better businessman? Could new habits make me a better athlete? Could I be richer? Or happier?

I am going to try and identify some time wasting habits and see if I can change them to become more productive. I think it may help me lose more weight, race faster, and maybe even find more business. This is a very interesting mistake I made. Such a simple mistake with such deep-seated consequences.


IRONMAN
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke 2006

Inspire

I have a quest in life. It is not to be the man with the most money. Nor is it to be a movie star or President. Neither is it to be a Pulitzer Prize winner or even an astronaut. However, there is nothing wrong with these occupations, accolades, and achievements.

My life came from such a low place. I LIVED MISERY! Misery that the written word nor the world's most accomplished orator could depict. My depression and anxiety bore misery and pure suffering. So much so, that the mental turmoil created physical pain. I would lie down and rock from the pain in my joints. My nail beds would throb from the weight of my nails pressing upon them. My hair folicals would feel like pins and needles piercing through my skin. The pain was everywhere.

Days would pass, and getting out of bed was not possible. I would awake, and the misery was so bad I would run for my bottle of pills for further relief. Relief that could only be found while asleep. Having lost control of my thoughts, my emotions, my ability to reason, my ability to smile, (that's correct, I was physically unable to smile by choice or otherwise) I was often only able to survive while sedated and medicated.

Years flew by and day after day, I prayed to God to end my life. Several times I had planned ways to end my own life. I was stopped only by the thought of my three year old daughter having to live her life without a father. I am aware every day that my three year old daughter saved my life more than once.

Let it be known that I was so ill, that LIFE was gone. During this tremendously dark period LIFE STOPPED. It was not worth living. Darkness so cold, so heavy, so crushing and smothering that I still fear a return.

However terrible the misery, it was a pivotal experience in my life. An experience to CHANGE THE WORLD. An experience of CHOICE. An experience of COURAGE and POWER. And it was an experience of STRENGTH and TEMPERANCE. It was an experience for my benefit throughout eternity.

After years of trials and searching for a remedy, there came a day when a Medication was found that would alleviate my illness. This was followed by the discovery of an additional illness three years later that had been further complicating my fragile condition. The point is this: There were a series of events and decisions, of trials and failures leading up to my recovery. This recovery was not quick, it took years. My mettle was tested, my character was tested, my courage and dedication were tested. And each day I reached to God.

Each day required unfortold courage and dedication to survive. As I recovered, each day became easier and I found new ways to find happiness and joy in living again. As the scriptures say, "what was lost, now is found". The recovery of such a dismal illness and overcoming the theif who is depression brought about new perspectives that certainly would not have been evident without such suffering. I realized that one of the qualities I wanted for my life was to inspire others and to be inspired by other's triumphs.

My definition of inspiration is "Creating the Extraordinary from the Ordinary". This is one of the tenants that I try to live my life by. The tenant of "making the ordinary, extraordinary". I want my life to be extraordinary. Extraordinary to my measure only. Not extraordinary as compared to anyone else's life. Truly extraordinary, as compared to my life and only measurable to my own standards. I am striving for that. I am not there yet. But every day I take an additional step closer. That is the measure, from one day to the next. Every day is anew and full of opportunity.

IRONMAN
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, May 7, 2006

Diet Coke Withdrawls

Last Thursday night, I made an important agreement with a friend. He agreed to leave some personal matters behind him forever, and I agreed to quit drinking my Diet Coke. I drank a lot of Diet Coke. I would estimate that I drank between six and ten 44oz diet cokes a day. There would be times that I drank so much Diet Coke that my body would feel ill.

I had quit drinking Diet Coke before and I loved how I felt while off the Diet Coke. The most noticeable change was that I no longer craved the Diet Coke in the morning. The urge was gone. But after quitting Diet Coke for some time and then trying a single small Diet Coke, I was off and running again.

But, once again, I have quit drinking my Diet Coke. The first four days I had a headache. This was expected and was bearable. The cravings and urgings my body had to drink a Diet Coke were strong but bearable. Even the HABIT of going to the gas station to get a refill was strong. Two times I pulled into a gas station to refill my Diet Coke I did so out of habit without thinking about it. But, the one unexpected side effect are the dreams I have been having that focus on me DRINKING A DIET COKE! Can you feel the love?

IRONMAN
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, 2006

Progress

Today during my swim team practice I swam 3200 meters, roughly 2 miles. Two things stood out as I went through the drills and completed the workout.

First, 3200 meters (2 miles) does not seem long anymore. As I was swimming tonight, I realized how amazing this is. It was only in April of 2005 when I learned how to swim. One year ago I hired Heath Thurston as my swim coach. Later, I hired him as a triathlon coach.

But April of 2005, I hired Heath to teach me how to swim. Lets be clear, when Heath started teaching me to swim, I began by learning how to float on my back. I had to be taught the very basic and fundamental aspects of swimming. To add to the challenges already inherent to learning how to swim, my anxiety and panic disorder made learning to swim more difficult. But today, swimming 2 miles, with good form, does not seem difficult.

Second, as I was swimming, I noticed that I became unaware of the workout. My focus shifted from the drudgery of counting laps to the feel of my body's relationship with the water's surface. My mind became quiet and my attention became more aware of my form and relaxing during the workout. When this happens, peace ensues and my body feels connected to the water. This happens frequently.

I am not blowing my own horn. It is good to see how hard, persistent, and directed work yields progress.

Rob Schopke
Sr. Loan Officer
Principal Lending Manager
rob@schopke.com
©Copyright 2006 R. Robert Schopke
Message sent from pocket pc phone edition.

Famous and Powerful People

Sunday, April 23, 2006 launched a series on suicide in Utah's Deseret Morning News. This is an issue of extreme importance to me. I have been suicidal on many occasions. For a period of two and a half years, I prayed nightly for God to end my suffering and bring me home to heaven.

Many would not admit their weaknesses publicly. Many would fear people would judge them as weak, selfish, crazy, and even as damned of God. But I figure people pass judgement on me everyday. Some judge me as strong, athletic, smart, funny, caring, and even good looking. Others judge me as weak, lazy, depressed, and fat. The truth is at times I am all of that. Here is the crazy thing, when I am depressed people rarely judge me as being ill.

People never see what is really going on. People rarely ever see that I suffer from a mood disorder that is governed by my body's chemistry. Yes, depression, bipolar, ADD and other serious mental illnesses are just that, illnesses. They are illnesses like heart disease, cancer, or Parkinson's disease. Nationally, suicide is ranked as the 11th leading cause of death in America. In Utah, it is closer to the 8th leading cause of death. In 2003, suicide took 31,484 people in the US.

These deaths from suicide are often thought to be from youths. The truth is the majority of attempted suicides occur later in life. The highest rate of suicide comes from the elderly, and suicide rates jump dramatically after age 30. The majority of these suicides can be attributed to illness. Illnesses that range from mental illness to cancer to Parkinson's.

I would submit that any attempt of suicide results from a break with reality and therefore mental illness is the base cause. I want to be clear that this is my opinion and not founded on any other source. But I have thought this issue through and through, so I feel confident in that assessment. There is one thing to be certain of, suicide results from tortuous and seemingly endless suffering.

Not all people with mental illness attempt suicide, lets be clear about that also. But mental illness is a serious topic and most people who suffer from it are generally wrongfully judged. Former U.S.A. President Abraham Lincoln, England's former Prime Minister Winston Churchill, actor Jim Carrey, country singer Dolly Parton, astronaut Buzz Aldrin, storyteller Hans Christian Andersen, and golfer John Daly are but the few famous and powerful people who have been haunted by mental illness. These are people that amid terrible suffering with mental illness have accomplished great and wonderful things.

Ignorance, stemming from the likes of Tom Cruise that discredits depression as a product of negative thinking, does nothing but harm those who desperately need help and acceptance. These are not weak, lazy, selfish or even crazy people. They are people who have an illness. Far to often this illness leads to the termination of a life. Every life lost this way could have been saved.

The US Heathcare System often further harms those suffering from mental illnesses. Most health insurance policies do not include coverage for mental illness, further adding to the stigma of such a serious problem. Often, those who need medical attention cannot afford to get the treament they require, even if they have health insurance. What insurance company would deny coverage of diabetes, cancer, or multiple sclerosis? But mental illness, that needlessly ends over 30,000 lives per year, is overlooked.

Rob Schopke
Sr. Loan Officer
Principal Lending Manager
rob@schopke.com
801.818.1800
866-859-5900
Message sent from pocket pc phone edition.

IRONMAN
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, 2006

The Triathlon Culture

Triathletes are very diverse. Some are fierce competitors while others are simply out to challenge themselves. Some are fat while others are slim. Some are in their eighties while the youngest triathletes are a mere 13 years old. As varied as triathletes are, they all have two things in common.

First, all triathletes are constantly striving for personal improvement. They train with purpose. They use their training to learn about their personal character. Their training is about learning the limits of their body and their mental mettle. Their training is about increasing their V02Max. It is about overcoming injury. They are always looking to improve their swimming, biking, and running techniques. Their training is about improving efficiency and fitness level.

With one eye on beating their "Personal Record" (PR), triathletes always have the other on their fellow athletes. This leads me to the second thing that all triathletes have in common. Triathletes are always willing to lend support and encouragement to other triathletes. Don't get me wrong, triathlon is a race against the clock. Triathlon follows one main principle which is "one man, one race". Triathlon is not a team sport. In a race, triathletes cannot receive ANY support from anyone. They must be prepared to meet their own needs such as repairing their own bike in the event of a mechanical failure. But my observation is that when not on the race course, every triathlete is willing to lend a hand to another.

These two attributes are what lures me to triathlon. When I am depressed and anxious, I will set out on a bike ride or a run and I will work my body. I work my body past the fatigue, past the aches and pains. I work my body and focus my mind until my mind becomes quiet and rested. It is at this point that the workout becomes satisfying. This constant practice of overcoming my body's weaknesses helps temper my mental and emotional mettle. I am constantly setting new benchmarks for what my body can accomplish and endlessly strengthening my mental mettle and personal character. Secondly, it is the companionship and common goals between triathletes that build such a strong triathlon culture. For example, if you need help with your swim stroke you can always find a fellow triathlete willing to give you pointers. There are always fellow triathletes willing to share a workout. The triathlon community is an awesome community to be a part of.

IRONMAN
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, 2006

The Last Socially Accepted Prejudices

Today I went out for a training ride with my coach Heath Thurston. I am not ashamed to say that Heath burried me. I was on my way to drop my bike off at Racer's Cycle Service and I passed a guy on University Avenue. He was riding a Surly bicycle and I passed him on the left. I was abiding by all the traffic laws and did nothing wrong.

He caught up with me at a stop light and began insulting me. I guess he was mad because he was riding at around 10mph when I passed him at about 27-28mph. The insults made me angry but nothing that I could not deal with. Then, as he began to ride off, he made things personal. He called me a "fat a**" and said that "fat lazy pigs shouldn't ride bikes".

Where was this guy coming from? Does he realize what he did was as bad as calling a black person the "N" word. Many people do not realize the hatred that overweight people encounter. It is the same type of hatred and prejudice that minorities and disabled people have put up with throughout time. An overwhelming generalization with no care given to the harm inflicted upon people who are already struggling to do their best.

This punk, of about 40 years of age, stood there and made a judgement of me. He saw me as a lazy, overeating, undisiplined, worthless, slothful piece of trash. He then verbalized his narrow- minded, uninformed, and absolutely destructive opinion of me. Did this guy give any consideration to the YEARS of HARD work and dedication I have put into losing the 115 pounds I have already lost? Did this guy think about the illness I struggle with daily? Or did he take a moment to ponder the idea that each individual who is trying their best in this world deserves to be treated with decency and respect?

Being honest, this HATRED that was thrust upon me crushed me at first. It brought me to tears and shook me up. But then I realized something. I am overcoming what many could not begin to fathom. The goals that I have set for my life, though many see them as unattainable, are within my reach. The ideals and principles that direct my life are uplifting and empowering.

This guy is the epitomy of the hatred that prejudice breeds. Too many people fall into this trap. If someone calls someone else fat, most would not see that as prejudicial hatred. Yes, I acknowledge that some people are fat and that is a matter of fact. But the difference comes when calling someone fat is a prejudicial slur. It carries with it an entire set of connotations designed to label the individual as unworthy of respect and dignity. This is the same devisive hatred found in racial prejudice. Overweight people have to work harder in this world. They are treated as underclass drivel. They are scorned and scoffed.

The discipline, dedication, and focused drive my training and racing brings has helped me become a happy irrepressible man. I have used training and racing as a means of overcoming a mental illness that almost took my life on many occasions. I have been looking for a sponsor for my training and racing. I am not looking to become a professional triathlete. What I have been looking for is a sponsor to fund a charity to help people overcome the challanges set before them. I would like to see more people become empowered, strong, happy people. I would like to see every race I enter help others overcome their seemingly impossible obstacles. I would like to see every race I enter help fight the prejudice and hatred that people with weight problems and mental illness face everyday.

I could be bitter about the "fat a**" comment. But I realized that this guy simply empowered me to fight this prejudice. Afterall, he provided me with a great topic and an opportunity to share my feelings about an important topic.

IRONMAN
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, 2006

God Races in the Sunshine

Well, the closing line of my previous post said "May God race with me.". I truly feel like God raced with me on Saturday. Throughout the race I felt God with me. From quieting my mind to helping me deal with the physical pain a body feels when stressing it like I did, I know God was racing with me.

So how did I do? I beat my PR (Personal Record) by almost 40 minutes. I finished the 70.3 mile race in 5:55:51(1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run). I am SO pleased with my performance. Ironman California had many challenges that it placed before me. But in all, I left Oceanside absolutely excited to beat this personal record on my next race!

I will be writing more about my experiences during the race a little later. So please stay tuned.

IRONMAN
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, 2006

Pre-Race Anxiety

It is currently 3:50pm PST. About two hours ago the anxiety set in. I am at Ironman Oceanside and I found out that the water temperature in the ocean right now is around 55 degrees. This is of major concern to me. When you jump into the water and dunk your head under the water you experience a pain like no other. 55 degrees is like taking an ice cold shower. If the swim takes you 30-40 minutes, you come out of the water frozen. But for me, and see if you can imagine this, when I begin swimming and dunk my head into such cold water, my breath is taken away. Now, try racing as fast as you can with the extreme cold and can no longer breathe. I begin to panic.

I called my coach, Heath Thurston, and he helped talk me down a little bit. I decided to leave the athlete village and return to my hotel room. I began working on my bike to try and distract my mind. This has helped. Another thing that has helped is thinking about my Father-in-Heaven. I know that racing is a righteous endeavor and that Heavenly Father wants me to strive, to extend myself, to push myself to newfound limits. This is the spirit of IRONMAN. I know that I am an IRONMAN and so I will go out tomorrow and do my best.

I put on some music and began thinking about the people who have gone before me. The people like Sara Reinertsen, an above the knee amputee, she is an Ironman. There have been men and women who have overcome tremendous odds. This is the IRONMAN spirit. The Ironman is so many things to so many people. But to all, an IRONMAN is a tempering of the human body and it is a conquest, a victory of the human spirit. It is the most strenuous one day endurance race the world has ever seen. People who believe "IT" is possible, people who believe they can attain anything the world can set before them are drawn to these events. Often times it takes personal adversity, personal tragedy, and personal trials that one must overcome to realize that they too can accomplish anything.

So, here I sit. I am afraid of what lies ahead of me. I can tell you this is FEAR, RAW FEAR. But I am not the fear. I know this. I will go forward to conquer this fear, to extinguish it. It will probably haunt me until the gun goes off tomorrow. But when the gun goes off, I will have to rise up and become bigger than the fear. It is at these points, both big and small, that an IRONMAN is made. May God race with me.

Off to Ralph's Ironman Oceanside

Here it is March 16th and I am leaving for my next race. The first race of my season is at hand. I am on my way to Ralph’s Ironman Oceanside 70.3.

So what does the 70.3 mean? A full Ironman Triathlon Consists of a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike leg, and a 26.2 mile run leg. It is a race and therefore each leg is completed in that order, consecutively and non-stop. If you add up the mileage of each leg of the race it totals 140.6 miles. A 70.3 race consists of a 1.2 mile swim leg, a 56 mile bike leg, and a 13.1 mile run leg. The race is exactly half that of a full Ironman. It is commonly called a “half ironman” and to cumulative mileage results in a 70.3 mile race.

My goal right now is to complete a full Ironman in Florida this November 4th. Once Ironman Florida is completed my eyes will be set on becoming more competitive at the 140.6 mile racing distance. My emotions well up when I think of this. The task at hand is epic. The amount of self control and self dedication are beyond description. The pain and suffering; the trials and training required are not for the weak in mind, spirit, or body. This is truly a task that only a hand full of people in the WORLD’S population will ever experience. The completion of an Ironman is an accolade that can never be taken from you. Once you are an Ironman you carry with you the title of IRONMAN forever.

So why is this so important to me? I have spent years lost in my mental illness. My depression consumed my life. It swallowed the very person that I am. I went from being an educated man, to a man who could no longer read, add or subtract. Everything that I loved to do was gone in a day. The man that my wife loved disappeared before her eyes. The father that my children ran to vanished into thin air.

One day I smiled and I commented to my wife that I had not smiled in over eight months. Things as simple as this smile were physically not possible for me. I spent months searching for doctors. Time flew by as I blamed myself of not having enough faith, of not praying enough, of not having enough courage. I blamed myself of being weak, and told myself that I just had to think positive. I told myself that I just had to decide to be happy. But I have to tell you my mental illness CRUSHED me. It suffocated my soul, smothered my spirit, and robbed my life of any and all happiness, contentment, love, peace, security and opportunity. My life was devoured by wailing fear and devastating misery.

So why is this so important to me? Because I can! Because I am recovering and I always will be recovering from mental illness. Because I have been the epitome of weakness, I had to be submissive, and I have lived in desperation. Is this something that I have to prove to the world? NO! This has nothing to do with the world. Because I can! What power and freedom this principle brings. This is a challenge, an IronmanChallange, to learn, to grow, to develop and to succeed. “Because I can” is about spirit, determination, and moving on with LIFE.

So why is this important to me? Because it is!

I have already been training for three and half years. I have clocked thousands upon thousands of wonderful miles. I completed my first half Ironman in Las Vegas on September 25, 2005. It was a race to build experience. I finished Las Vegas in 6:34:05. I was unhappy with these results. I hope to cut off about 30 minutes from this time. Ironman Oceanside is going to be a tough race. So I am hoping to improve. If you would like to view my results you can go to the event’s "web site " and go to “results”. My bib number will be 757. The results should be posted soon after the finish.

Please take some time to familiarize yourself with this race. You can view course maps and elevation profiles at the following addresses (Click One: "SWIM" "BIKE" "RUN" "TRANSITIONS")

Wish me luck!

IRONMAN
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, 2006

The Week Before Ironman Oceanside

My workouts have been grueling in the week leading up to Ironman Oceanside. Last Tuesday I hade two run workouts. My AM run was 6 miles. I took my lab with me. About one mile into the run the wind kicked up. About three miles into my run I turned around to come home. A torrent of wind kicked up and remained through the rest of my workout. There was horizontal hail slamming me directly into my face. The hail was freezing on my legs and body. My lab was covered in ice. The ice and blizzard like snow was sliding down into my gore-tex running shoes. It was a good thought, but so much for the idea of water proof running shoes. Normally my gore-tex running shoes work great and keep my feet warm. But I ran back with ICE cold water filled shoes. I will tell you a warm shower was a welcome thought, until I stepped into it. The hot water stung as it hit my skin. I had to turn the water to COLD and heat up my body with the water. I suffer and endure a bit, in the name of fitness goals that I set for myself. I have to tell you I really think my lab thought that all the weather was really cool. I am still not sure he knew he was supposed to me miserable. My PM run was another fie miles. These five were much more enjoyable.

All in all my workouts for the week consisted of 3 miles of swimming, 95 miles of biking, 36 miles of running, and 1 hour of lifting weights. I wish my swim and bike workouts could have been more productive. But the week was fairly productive. Here is the clincher. After doing all that exercise I did not lose a single pound. But I still think the weight loss is coming.

© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, March 12, 2006

Heel Lifts

I have recently been suffering with shin splints. When I run, my Achilles tendon gets wound up like a tight rubber band. It gets so tight that it feels like it is going to snap in two. At the same time my calf muscle gets so pumped that it feels ready to explode. This pain in the back of my leg is transferred to the front of my leg in the form of shin splints.

While running, about four miles into a workout, my lower leg becomes weak. At least it feels weak. At times it feels like my leg will collapse from the back of my ankle forward. This has been a very concerning feeling.

My coach, Mr. Heath Thurston The Incredible (http://www.httraining.com/), took me down to The Salt Lake Running Company (http://www.saltlakerunningco.com/) to speak the owner about my problem. Guy, the owner, put me on a treadmill and videotaped me running. He then played the video back in slow-motion. Looking at my stride he told me that my heal was striking and sinking to far into my shoe. This was creating the tension in my tendon and calf muscle. Additionally, the way my foot was striking was creating vibration and stress that travels up my leg giving me shin splints.

Guy told me to make a heel lift. I purchased a quarter inch thick cork sheet. I cut a piece of cork that would fit under my insole to lift my heal up. This would help push my body position forward, facilitating a correct stride and eliminating my heel strike. I ran yesterday with my heel lifts and the run felt great. I still have shin pain because it will take time to heal my shin splints. However, the tension in my Achilles tendon and calf muscle were gone. Today I am not suffering the after affects of the run workouts that I would have normally experienced. It will still take some time, but I feel like this SIMPLE device solved my problem.

© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, February 17, 2006

Looking for the Fat Man

I have recently started shedding pound again. I had about three months there where my weight loss had stopped. Albeit the weight loss plateau was in part due to a lack of personal motivation. Anyway, I have been looking for FAT photos of myself. I would like to submit my before and after photos to a magazine when I reach my target weight. I am currently at 109lbs lost. The fatter I look the BETTER! Please contact me if you have any photos.
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, February 17, 2006

Misunderstanding

I have included a series of emails between a good friend of mine and I. It demonstrates one of the VERY often judgements or misunderstandings of endurance athletes. An interesting read. But as you read this please keep in mind that normal training in our freezing cold winters gets old very quickly for me. I am clear on what a pain in the rump it would be to train at below zero temperture year round. That does not excite me at all.

Rob,

I am so glad that you took no offense with my email. I am in awe of your personal determination to have come such a long way over the years.
Thanks for your personal reply. It really helps me to understand you better.

thanks,
John

-----Original Message-----
From: Rob [mailto:Rob@Schopke.Com]
Sent: Friday, December 02, 2005 10:18 AM
To: Johnson, John H.
Cc: Kandi
Subject: RE: Check this out!

John,

Searching for something? No not me, personally and inter-personally I have everything I need at home and with God.

It seems like when you have reached the bottom like I have, and then painstakingly climbed your way back out you look at life differently.
Life
to me now is about LIFE? Life for me is really about being alive every moment. My personal trial brought the end of my old life and rebirth of my new life. When you spend two and half years praying to God to end your life; when you have a plan to end your life and are ready to execute - then you look at your four year old daughter and realize she will miss you, when you lived life DEAD, then you might be able to understand where I was. Then you might be able to understand where I am today.

I will never go back! Life to be is no longer about searching for happiness.
Now I LIVE happiness. Even on my bad days I know this truth 100%:

TODAY IS MY BEST DAY AND TOMORROW WILL BE EVEN BETTER!

I wear a set of dog tags around my neck, perhaps you have seen them.
Inscribed on them is my personal constitution. I want to share it with you.
It reads:

Temper Your Mettle
Breathe Faith-Hope-Love-Prayer
Recommit To Never Quit
Be Strong and Resolute
Fear Nothing
Anything is Possible

Let me briefly explain my personal constitution to you.

Temper Your Mettle.
Temper is a verb meaning both to humble and make strong. Mettle is a personality characteristic of strength, fortitude, and immovable steadfastness.

Breathe Faith-Hope-Love-Prayer
Live these principles in the same way you breathe. You breathe and take in life, assimilate the air into you blood which feed every part of your body.
Each breath is the breath of life. Live these principles as they are your breath of life.

Recommit to NEVER Quit
Whether it is recommitting to the Gospel, God, exercise, work, recreation, repentance, family or even more mundane things of life never quit. Never quit on your life, never quit on your aspirations, never quit on your responsibilities, even if you have to continually recommit - never quit.

Be Strong and Resolute
God demands saints to be strong and resolute. Christ was strong and resolute as he bore the sins of the world, died, and resurrected himself. God expects resolution from us, to stand up for what is right, for what is righteous, for what it good. God demands this of his saints.

Fear Nothing
I live my life in fear. I shrank from adversity and ran. My illness created the fear and I could not bear it. This was an awful gulf of misery and torment, and I lived it! Never again! Today I choose to live everyday FEARING NOTHING! The scriptures teach us to fear nothing. Fear of God is often misunderstood, it really means to Love God. If we stand with God we have nothing to fear.

Anything is Possible
Never set limits on yourself or others. I get this principle from Ironman itself. Ironman's motto reads simply "Anything Is Possible". Remember my testimony a few weeks ago, it was simply that God makes the impossible possible. He does.

I shared this with you because it is personal and a life conviction. It is how I live my life. Am I searching? No! I have found it. My suffering, it has given me a glorious vision of life. Today I am more alive than ever.
Now
I seek to do things because "I CAN". Limitations or excuses of a lack of time, money, or obligations; why would I want to limit my life.

Life for me is about my family, my God, and LIVING. Think about it, God demands us to push ourselves, try ourselves, challenge ourselves. Just think about the parable of the talents. The parable is about developing ourselves, about personal and interpersonal growth.

This is a sensitive topic, I know. I want you to know I took no offense to your email. I know you care about me and my family. I understand where you were coming from. But I wanted you to know where I was coming from also.
Take care buddy.


Sincerely,
Rob Schopke
Sr. Loan Officer
American Lending Network
Cell 801.818.1800
Cell Toll Free 866.859.5900


-----Original Message-----
From: jhjohnson@ensign-bickfordcompany.com
[mailto:jhjohnson@ensign-bickfordcompany.com]
Sent: Friday, December 02, 2005 8:55 AM
To: Rob@Schopke.Com
Subject: RE: Check this out!

Rob,

You seem to be searching for something to fulfill a need in your life.
Are you sure that all these atheletic events are the answer? This "Icemarathon" would be tough, exciting and spectatular, but is it the "answer"?

John

P.S. We are having an Aerobic's Christmas party tonight at our house.
Lara has invited all the women (and their husbands) who come to aerobics to a potluck Christmas party tonight. You and Laura are invited to come too. I think the Martins are coming.

P.S.S. I have always had an deep down desire to climb Mt. Everest. But I think this goal is for another life.

-----Original Message-----
From: Rob [mailto:Rob@Schopke.Com]
Sent: Thursday, December 01, 2005 12:33 PM
To: rchatwin; ryanr; jerry; Jared; jerrymartin; heath.nthurston;
htrujillo; rockcreek; lora; trocha; blanchard
Cc: jhjohnson
Subject: Check this out!

Hey,

Check this out. I would love to try this in a few years. Just for the
accolade and bragging rights. Plus I think the challenge of making my
body do something it was not made to do, in a place it was not meant
to be is awesome. I have been mulling this over for a month or so.
It’s one of those things that won’t go away. Kind of like the allure
of Ironman.

http://www.icemarathon.com/

Sincerely,
Rob Schopke
Sr. Loan Officer
American Lending Network
Cell 801.818.1800
Cell Toll Free 866.859.5900

© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, December 1, 2005

Feel the Water

I had a swimming lesson from Heath today. I was productiove and I would like to outline that we went over. Partly because I do not want to forget what we discussed but also because what I learned was about harmony in the water. I was swimming in a SwimEX pool. This allowed me to isolate what I was doing in the water, concentrating on my body position.

The idea is to get more force out of your pull. In order to get more force or power out of your pull many things must occure. First your pull must stay outside. Meaning that your pull must never come under your body. Your arm should never pass underneath your body at any point throughout your pull. Second your shoulder shoud pop up and forward at the beginning of the stroke. This allows you to have your elbow high throughout your pull. Keeping your elbow high throughout helps you grab more water and thereby create more thrust. Then your pull should have an even and powerful force throughout your entire stroke. Obtaining a pull that is maximising force is one element to the stroke.

The idea of getting the most thrust out of your stroke is important. But there are right and wrong ways to utilize this thrust. First you want your body to be as slippery in the water as possible. Rotation is one key element in becomming more slippery. By rotating your body up towards its side you creat less resistance. If you watch a sail boat race, the sailboat will lean to one side to gain speed. This rotation is important to minimizing resistance. However,too much rotation is not good either.

Extension is another element to becoming more slippery. Just like a sail boat, the longer the hull the faster it will move through the water. Keeping your body extended as long as possible will improve your speed. By lengthening your body and keeping it extended for the longest amout of time possible will maximize the effectiveness of your thrust. This extension of your body and keeping it extended for a gearter length of time is call glide. By gliding through the water you are taking advantage of the thrust created from your stroke and kick. If you do not allow for this glide you will interupt the thrust creat by the stroke.

Putting all this together is the tough part. You must learn to relax in the water. Focus more on your body passing through the water. Paying attention to what your body is doing as it passes through the water will allow you to feel what adjustments you will have to make to maximise your power, thrust and speed.
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, November 21, 2005

The 320 Pound Man

I was watching TV today. Something struck me as inspiring. There was a news story about a 320 pound man. This man was not 320 pounds because he was strapped with muscles. No this was a 320 pound fat man. Morbidly obese was more of a fitting description of this man's condition. But the story was not about how fat this man was. This story was not about his ill health, it was not about his laziness, and in fact it was not about the health risks of being this obese. This story was about how this 320 pound man was actually fit.

This 320 pound man has competed in over 100 triathlons. That's right, over 100 triathlons. You see he exercises regularly. He TRAINS for these triathlons. He swims, he bikes and he runs daily. They showed him running accross the finish line of a triathlon. There he was, 320 pounds and fat. But he was RUNNING! Imagine in your minds eye a 320 pound man getting in a wetsuit, swimming. He then transitions to the bike and rides hard. Then comes the run. What confidence this must take. Confidence to put yourself infront of people, exposing yourself to ridicule. Subjecting yourself to the cruel judgements of others.

Many people judge other people based upon their size. People will say how out of shape someone is based upon visual appearances. People are judged as being lazy. They are looked down upon in every sense. They are treated poorly by others. It is my opinion that obesity is the one last legal prejudices. Infact obesity is the one last socially acceptable prejudice. As wrong as it is, prejudice against fat people is perpatrated by a great majority of the people we come in contact with. I am speaking from experience. I used to weigh 310 pounds myself. Today I am weighing 190 pounds and still losing. I noticed a change in how people interacted with me as I lost weight. People were nicer to me. People were more willing to do things for me. Even in the halls of church people went out of their way to speak to me.

Now I cannot be certain if it was more self-confidence that made the difference for me or if people just are cruel enough to treat fat people badly. Personally I think it is a combination of the two. But here is a 320 pound fat man. But this man did not let his fears or his insecurities control who he was. He was fat, active, fit, and abounding with life. He proved all sterotypes wrong. He proved that prejudice of fat people is as wrong as racial prejudism or sexual descrimination. This man knows that you may not be able to change the world, but you can change how you view the world. This man knows that if you change the way you view the world then you can change the way you live in the world. What an inspiring lesson. This man is in charge of his own destiny.
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, November 15, 2005

Spinning

Something noteworthy happened today. Last winter, about this time of year, the temperture outdoors got cold enough to send me indoors to a spinning class at my local gym. I remember being exhausted after the workout. I remember my legs being pumped. I also remember my heart rate had risen to about 195 bpm for the entire workout.

I got out to the gym today. Not because it was cold outdoors. I have gotten more and more used to working out in the cold. Today was a rainy day. It rained from morning to night. I was surprised to find that my heart rate was bouncing between 160 and 180. The workout also seemed easier than I remembered even though the intensity I was spinning at was much harder than the year prior. I never got out of breath. By legs never got pumped. I walked away from this workout thinking to myself about all base training I have been doing. How all the base training has increased my fitness exponentially. I have to tell Heath about this. I just hope I don't get into troble for exceeding my HR Limits (LOL).
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, November 14, 2005

Running Peace

Today I ran about 11 miles. My mind was clear. My body felt good. Time after time I run past the tree mile mark and a transformation occurs. My body get used to running. The rthym of my arms; my legs hitting the pavement. My breath pulsing and the heave of my chest. The timing of my thoughts against the forward thrust of my body cutting through the atomosphere. This is spiritual. This is peace. This is a bit of heaven on earth. This is what I was born to do.

The workout is a small piece of the journey. It is but one step. It is a glimps into the future. Some workouts are hard and labored. Some workouts feel like you are just beginning like you are totally out of shape and all you want to do plop down on your couch and eat ice cream, potato chips, and egg rolls. But then you have a workout where everything comes together. Your body, your mind, and the world around you all converge. Then you realize how each workout is a little piece life. Sometimes things are easy, sometimes things are hard, and then other times things come together and the experience is perfect.
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, November 12, 2005

TriUtah Jordenelle Triathlon

JORDANELLE TRIATHLON FINISHER - Racer No,:1924
Total Time: 2:59:43
Well I competed in the Jordanelle Triathlon at Jordanelle Reservior yesterday. I am a finisher of the Men's Olympic Distance Triathlon (I intentionally stated that as the accomplishment that it is). This is a wonderful triathlon. The venue was set at the Rock Cliff area of Jordanelle Reservoir. This is a fairly remote venue set into a small canyon setting at the end of an arm of the reservoir. The venue was beautiful. The occasional moose and rattle snake warning signs, though a bit concerning, were easily forgotten by the beauty of the wilderness area.

THE SWIM - 1.5K
0:34:22
The swim was difficult though not unbareable. The arm of the reservoir provided little room for the swim. It seemed crowded and the water was fairly rough; but I enjoyed the swim. The water was warm enough that a wetsuit was not necessary. The swim started in waves. The Men's sprint started first and about three minutes later the women's sprint started. Then the men's olympic went next followed by the women. Shortly after my group started I was kicked in the face by another swimmer. My goggles were kicked up onto my forehead and I had to stop twice to fix my goggles. I would have kept swimming, but I wear contacts and need the goggles to keep my contacts in my eyes.

Okay I have to admit that I have trouble with anxiety. I have far less trouble with anxiety now thanks to modern medicine, but I must admit being kicked in the face for the first time really did catch me off gaurd. The time taken to reseal my goggles was time I needed to mentally get my anxiety back into control. I am proud of myself for regaining my composure quickly and getting on with the swim. This whole experience was a bit funny. While I stopped to adjust my goggles for the second time I was afloat and talking out loud. I was having a little pep-talk telling myself that life was good, that I was safe, and that I was going to conquer this swim today. Then another swimmer came along side me, stopped and asked me what I was doing. I told him and we swam both continued swimming.

I was swimming and I was noticing that the sprinters were having trouble. I realize that the more experienced sprinters were long gone. I was swimming over top of many people. It was comical. People in front of me were swimming every direction except for straight. I was hitting people who were floating on their backs, taking a break and swimming freestyle. I passed many and most were sprinters.

Here it is, the part where I take responsibility for my mistakes in the swim. I noticed I stopped too many times to see where other participants were. I was too concerned about not running into people. I should have put my head down and swam over and around them. But I was too consumed with staying out of the way. I lost a lot of time using this strategy. I probably would have been about ten minutes ahead, had I not been so pensive.

The next mistake I made was improper placement at the start of the swim. The swim started and I noticed that I was running into people's feet. Had I positioned myself a little bit more aggressively I would have been less bothered and slowed by the slower athletes.

The third mistake that I made was not clearing my mind enough. Just after the start I was kicked in the face and my thoughts and anxiety built up. I was breathing too deeply and about half way through the swim I grew tired and my neck began hurting. The muscle that runs from the top of my neck down the side and around the front was hurting almost three quaters of the swim leg. I think all of this was due to breathing to deeply. The anxiety was present but more experience will solve all these problems.

This leads to my last mistake. I arrived at the swim start about ten minutes before the start of the swim. I should have given myself about twenty extra minutes. The ten minutes I allowed myself was only enough time to get my wetsuit on and get into the water. I should have had another twenty minutes warming up in the water. This would have allowed me to get acclimated with the water, warm up my lungs, get into a nice comfortable stroke. This would have given me more confidence on the swim. I think I would have delt better with the crowding, with my anxiety, with my bearthing, and most improtantly with my speed. Of all the things that went wrong in this swim, I still count it a success because I know what I did wrong, how to fix it, and I still did pretty good considering.

TRAIL OF TEARS - 0.5Mi.
0:05:27
As I exited the water I had a pair of shoes waiting for me at the waters edge. I stripped my wet suit off and threw it into a plastic bag with my race number of it. I threw my shoes on and began the run to T1. The run to T1 was about two thirds to three quaters of a mile away. About half way to T1 I pulled my race number out from under my shirt but I left the number facing backwards. The run went quickly and I entered T1 feeling great.

TRANSITION ONE
0:00:57
T1 went well. I had my biked racked at the nearest location possible to the exit of T1. I ran in to T1 with my shoes on, which is out of the ordinary. I arrived at my bike and took off my shoes. I put on my glasses, by DoWrap and then my helmut. I grabbed my bike and ran out of T1 bare foot. At the exit of T1 I mounted my bike. I left my shoes on my pedals. I smiply put my left foot into the left shoe. Pushed off with my right foot while swinging my right foot over the back of my bike. This set my right pedal in the 12 o'clock position to slip my right foot into the shoe. I was off and ready for the bike leg.

BIKE - 40K
1:21:29
The bike leg was a fairly slow leg for me. I had cramped up between my shoulder blades and my chest was extremely tight. The bike leg was a loop. Sprinters made one loop around the the course. The olympic distance was to complete two laps around the course. I intentionally made the first lap slower. I was trying to recover from the swim and new that I would be able to push harder on the second lap.

The altitude is high at this venue. The altitude at Jordanelle is 6200 feet. I could feel the taxing effect this was having on my body. The further I rode the more cramped I got and the tighter my chest got. At the time I had no idea why I was feeling this way. But when I had time to think about it after the race I concluded that my lats and pecks were way to tight. This is what was causing the cramping in my back. The tightness in my chest is probably a result of such exertion at high altitude. I had jumpped out of the water and ran three fourths of a mile. Then I jumpped on my bike and charged ahead. This coupled with the altitude is probably why my chest was so tight.

This was a very happy event for me. I did not notice it until I was on the bike. There was a guy who was having trouble. I pulled up next to him and wanted to give him a little encouragement. I said to him, "I'm fat and your skinny, you should be way ahead of me. Get going and get up there." He took off in almost a sprint. He pettered out and I pull up to him again. Once again "I said hey skinny get going." this happened about for more times and finally her was gone. I ran into him at the finish line. He was waiting for me and he told me that I pushed him and he needed it. It felt really good to help motivate someone to do better. I knew that I was helping him achieve something special. I also knew that how well he did had no baring on how well I did. It felt unselfish and really made me feel good about myself and my performance in the race.

The entire race was like this. I was noticing that this positive mental outlook, friendly bantor, and the smile I kept on my face actually helpped my performance.

TRANSITION TWO
0:00:54
T2 was fairly fast for me. I rode into T2 and dismounted from my bike. I wanted to keep my shoes on the pedals. So as I coasted up to the T2 bike dismount line I opened the velcro straps to my shoes. I pulled my left foot out of the shoe and replaced it onto the top of the left shoe, which was still on the pedal. I did the same with the right shoe. A few feet from the dismount line I pulled my right foot over the top tube and stepped off the bike directly into a run into T2. Because of the placement of my bike I easily found my transition area.

I placed my bike on the rack, took off my helmut and slipped my socks and shoes on. I have elastic laces on my shoes, so taking the time to tie my shoes is eliminated. I grabbed a drink for the run that sat between my two shoes so I could easily find it. I was set for the run. I proceeded to run out of T2 and begin the run.

RUN - 10K
0:56:33
The run was terrific. The first three miles were tough. The cramping I got on the bike was a bit much to handle at first. My shoulders and back were so crampped up that my beathing was labored. My posture was hard to keep. But I kept my thoughts focused and I remained possitive. Durring these first three miles my aches and pains, my cramped muscles in my back and my shoulders relaxed and the rthym of running set in.

The run was broken down into two laps. Each lap was aproximately three miles long. After the first lap you re-entered transition and out the back side to complete the second lap. The sprinters only had to complete one lap. The run was mostly on packed dirt. There were some steep climbs in the race. But none were too bad. The run followed a path that was partially a boardwalk over a marsh and a river. The run was a beautiful run.

As I ran through transition ready to begin my second lap Heath, my coach, was waiting for me. he ran along side me. He was concerned because after the bike I had told him I was feeling awful. I had told him how I was hurting. As we ran he asked me how I was doing. I told how great. I told him that i worked out my cramps and I was feel terrific. He was a bit surprised and gave me encouragement. He told me how I was doing great. He asked me to fix my posture and to "keep it up".

This race was a great experience for me. I set my goal at finishing under three hours and I did it. I had set backs, and I overcame them. Today I am thankful.
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GRIPES
I really had only one concern and complaint about the Jordenelle Triathlon. The venue had very limited parking area. A shuttle was required to bring the athletes and spectators into and out of the park. Parking was only available in a small field that was full of cow patties at a very small nearby town of Francis, Utah. After driving past the venue and parking, the spectators had to board a shuttle bus and ride to the venue.

There was little consideration given to the athletes and their transportation needs. The athletes had to navigate the cow crap infested lot like a mine field and then ride their bike several mile to the venue. Their was no way for the athletes to get their gear bags to the venue except to carry the gear on their back while riding their bike. This may not seem too bad; but the added rain and hail after the event made riding on the narrow two lane highway back to the parking area percarious and dangerous. In fact, one of the shuttle busses going back to the parking area struck an athlete riding his bike back. The athlete had to be loaded into an ambulance and brought to a hospital.

IRONMAN
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, August 28, 2005

Triumph In The Pool

I learned how to swim in April. I decided that I wanted to begin participating in triathlon about two years ago. I set a goal for myself to become an Ironman. I weighted 310 pounds at the time and could not ride a bike even four miles. Today I weigh 195 pounds and I can bike somewhere around two hundred miles in a day.

Well back to the topic at hand. I hired a swim caoch to teach me how to swim in April of this year. I was about as inexperienced in the water as one could be in the water. But I hired a coach and began swimming my drills. I put in around 15,000 meters per week. Yesterday I had a great day in the pool. A freind of mine who is a fairly experienced swimmer could not pass me in the pool. The entire time I kept up with him and let the way. I felt pride and accomplishment.

This Saturday I will be competeing in the Jordanelle Triathlon and he will be racing me. I am begining to think that I have a chance at beating him in the race. I will keep you informed.

Sincerely
IRONMAN
© Copyright Ryan Robert Schopke, August 23, 2005